发布时间：2017-07-01 11:07:47 作者：本站编辑 来源：本站原创 浏览次数：
A 女人喜欢使用第一人称复数(我们)形式，比如We need……(我们需要)，而男人喜欢使用第一人称单数(我)，比如I want……(我想要)。
C女人喜欢创造一些比较女性化的说法，比如dove grey(类似鸽子羽毛的灰色)，而男人喜欢使用英语标准的说法，比如light grey(浅灰色)。
D女人重视语法的正确性，比如We＇re going to……(我们正在去/即将去)，而男人不重视语法的正确性，比如We＇re gonna……(我们正在去/即将去)。
E女人喜欢直接引用，比如Hannah said that……(汉娜说)，而男人喜欢间接引用，比如She said that……(她说)。
F女人喜欢礼貌表达，比如Would you please……(您能)，而男人喜欢常规表达，比如Can you……(你能)。
A I saw a kingfisher Saturday morning.
B Did you﹖
A It took off about three feet from my side. I didn＇t see it in the bush. It took off out of a bush...
A Passed the front of my canoe and flew into a tree. I sat there...
B Very nice.
A and thought ...
A It looked down at me and it was really bright.
1) My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
3) Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep（beep：主人的Answer讲完以后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。）.
4) Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets（磁铁）. 注：通常情况下，来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然，所以语言往往很急促，三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁，讲了些什么。对于母语非英文的人，这种感觉会更深。所以，以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者，我的Answer Machine不好使，你且慢慢来。
5) Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped（私奔）with her tape deck（磁带驱动器）, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
6) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding（墙板，壁板）, windows, or a hot tub（浴盆）, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity（慈善团体）through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
7) Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
8) This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic（心灵感应术）thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.注：tone：与对第3）句beep的注释含义完全一样，主人的Answer讲完以后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。
9) Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
10) If you are a burglar(夜贼), then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.
11) You're growing tired. Your eyelids(眼皮) are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower(毅力) and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to(感到无助而被迫做某事) leave your name, number, and a message.
12) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.注：you have the right to remain silent：电影电视里警察出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。西方社会讲究人权，任何疑犯在未审判之前不得认为有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他们有权保持沉默。
13) Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
"Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two‘s company, three's the result!
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多；忘记的越多, 忘记的越多；知道的越少, 为什么学来着?!